Friday 6 February 2009

The Ten Golden Rules of Elevensies

I’ve noticed that I’ve been writing a lot about buns and beverages, so I thought I would give you my ten top tips about Elevensies:

Elevensies don’t have to be taken at Eleven, it is very important to be flexible in this area of Elevensie protocol. An Elevensie can happen at 10am, 3pm or any other time when a delectable punctuation is required in your day.

Elevensies should always involve a hot beverage. To be pedantic, this should really be coffee before noon, tea after.

An Elevensie isn’t an Elevensie unless a calorific snack is consumed. It is bad form to have a savoury snack for Elevensies, the golden rule is; the more sugar, the better.

Icing is a very important element of an Elevensie.

A friend to chat to is also an enhancing element of the Elevensie

You can’t have too many Elevensies in a day.

Elevensies, following due protocol, are good for reducing stress in the workplace.

If your line manager doesn’t approve of the tea break, invite him or her to join you for ‘Tiffin’, a more elite form of the Elevensie. ‘Tiffin’ should include bone china crockery and a crumpet with plenty of butter (this is the only occasion when a savoury item is welcomed in an Elevensie format).

Elevensies can be used for ‘networking’ opportunities among work colleagues, but go easy on the networking, heavy on the calories to ensure success.

If in doubt about any aspect of the Elevensie, read ‘Paddington’* books for research.

Diets and caffeine intolerances should not be discussed in the correct form of the Elevensie.

*this does not refer to railway timetables

3 comments:

J Adamthwaite said...

'Elevensies' always makes me think of my Grandad. Every day at exactly 11 o'clock, he would have a glass of beer and a packet of plain crisps. Which of course meant as children, whenever we visited, we couldn't be refused lemonade and crisps in the morning... it must have driven my mum mad!

That's what I think of now when I think of elevensies. Doesn't really fit in with your rules though!

Hilsbils said...

Hmm, I think I quite like the idea of alcoholic elevensies! I'm seeing a glass of bubbly and a canape as an acceptable alternative to the tea and bun combo.

J Adamthwaite said...

Yep, I could go for that!