Lego, keys and Celebrations

I've just been for a relaxing outdoor swim to try to make amends for the Christmas feeding frenzy, but then I undid all the good by finishing off some Celebrations that were shouting from the tin, 'eat me, eat me'. It must be something they do to the wrappers in the factory.

The swim was to relax after the shock of finding out that replacing my lost car key would cost £150. Yes, £150 - all to do with the squishy bit that works the lock being encrypted.

Before parting with such a massive amount of money for something so small, I decided to frisk the house one last time. This involved, among other things, delving into the deeper (and quite scary) reaches of the settee. I didn't find the key, but I did find £4 in small denomination coins, five pairs of socks, a couple of biros, an ear-ring and a bicycle pump, complete with wibbly bit that fits on the end. Strangely, I didn't find any Lego, a small lump of which usually appears at these moments - reminiscent of when the children were young and the soles of my feet permanently bore dimples to match the tops of the bricks. Actually, Lego should make special shoes that have inverted dimples on the soles, then a) you won't hurt your feet all the time walking over the mess and b) you can tidy up by jumping on the bricks (this would have the added benefit of making you taller as the bricks stick to your soles, it would also provide amusement for the children and give you aerobic exercise, saving on the gym membership). Being taller changes your height to weight ratio rather favourably and means you can succomb to those Celebrations again. Hurrah!