Next Invention

The cling film cane! I need one! Part of my job involves organising receptions, and a critical part of the success of these is selecting the right moment to REMOVE THE CLING FILM from the finger buffet. It's the same with parties, as the host/organiser you feel it is protocol for guests to wait for you to REMOVE THE CLING FILM. Sadly, some people don't realise this. Especially old ladies, who will frantically start clawing at the bottoms of the plates to find the edgy bits, rip the cover away and start tucking in while you watch on aghast. These are also the sort of people who will PILE THEIR PLATES TOO HIGH and mean that the more polite guests don't get the opportunity to select the especially nice sarnies/quiche. So, my invention today is THE CLING FILM CANE. In every pack there would be a short, thin stick (it will fit neatly into one of the corners left by the round roll not fitting the square box (why hasn't anyone spotted this?). The organiser of the party/buffet/social would then be able to stand in the corner, tapping the cling film cane against their palm with a nonchalant expression. At the first sign of an old lady clawing at the plates, the cane could be flicked, telescoping out, whacking the offender on the knuckles and then flick back in again. So, end all problematic buffet-barging with the cling film cane!