Clay Pigeons and Bruises

I went clay pigeon shooting for the first time at the weekend. It was fascinating to actually see the legendary smoking guns dangling over people’s arms. I wasn’t very good, and to prove it I now sport a large and brightly colour bruise on my upper arm. If I had been holding the gun correctly, the bruise would have been on my shoulder.

The clay pigeons were fired from a pingy thing, (which looked quite good fun to operate) but they were extremely difficult to hit. On some of the stands the pigeons ‘flew’ back and scattered shards over our heads. I envied the men who were wearing sensible wide brimmed, leather hats. They also wore tabards – like dinner ladies wear - only in macho camouflage colours. (I have worked in schools where the dinner ladies might well have wanted to be camouflaged and holding shotguns). The camouflage is obviously important to stop the clay pigeons spotting you first. Holding a conversation with other shooters was tricky because of the constant banging (the guns, not the sportspeople) and because of the ear defenders, which poked out of everyone’s ears like receivers for alien messages.

It all made sense when I finally hit two pigeons at the end of the morning and found myself hopping up and down, waving my arms in the air and doing a little jig on the stand. Luckily someone had taken the shotgun away first.


"If I keep very still, maybe they won't see me"