Most of us are aware of the vpl (visible panty line), but not much is written about the visible bra line. It is very annoying to get a bra wrong. Too small and you have deep lines etched across your chest, creating not two, but four wobbly sections which look unattractive. Too loose and everything moves around untethered and uncomfy. It is almost as important to your daily happiness as a well fitting pair of shoes. Get it wrong and you feel quite grumpy by the time you get home from work. And don't even mention going for a run without adequate upholstery. Fortunately I am not built to be a natural athlete, apart from a maybe weightlifting. I am hewn from stocky, solid genes which helpfully create a stable, low centre of gravity. Unlike Claudia Schiffer who I seriously doubt could haul a dingy out of the Thames with one hand. Could she even lift a 25kg bag of coal? Moving coal and dingies is obviously much more useful in real life than posing in high heels with shiny, blonde hair and a pout. Anyone can pout. Thinking about it, I could pout while I fill the coal scuttle up. I could wear high heels while I do the vacuuming (hang on, didn't I see somewhere that men pay good money to do that?).
So, I'm nearly there. I'm nearly a supermodel.
Oh, and if you would like to pay me lots to vacuum my house, I'll turn a blind eye to your attire.
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