I was on my usual Sunday morning wander round to the newsagent to get the papers, wearing my favourite wedgy heeled sandals with silly, smooth soles when I slipped on a wet leaf by the bus stop. My legs were thrust well out of their usual loci of movement, and I found myself kneeling on the pavement in a pose not unlike those seen on 'Strictly Come Dancing'. The passengers on the 281 seemed surprised that someone was so desperate for a bus to come, they they had got to their knees. As I was flung to the ground by the evil leaf, I have to confess I emitted a yell of 'f**k' (I don't usually swear, it was the surprise element). I felt quite abashed when I realised that this particular bus stop is immediately outside a convent, and that, being a warm July morning, several windows were open.
My favourite sandals are now too grimy to wear and my favourite knee is feeling a bit sore. My trousers were covered in bits of leaf and dirty puddle water too.
I just hope that no one on the 281 knew me and that the nuns Sunday morning prayers weren't disturbed. Today I will be going out to buy some sensible, flat shoes with laces and soles that can take me up Everest.
It looks harmless enough, but really it wants to break your legs
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