Black Mould and Tap Dancing Spiders

It’s all rather exciting, there is a new bath in the bathroom and a rather smart toilet which is a bit like one you’d find in a five star hotel, except the hotel wouldn’t have bare walls with lumps missing (the plumber said the walls were 'really terrible' – I think he was worried that if he leant too heavily in the wrong place, he would find himself in the back garden). I tentatively experienced the new bath this morning and enjoyed the view that notably lacked any black mould. There seem to be several bits of flooring missing, which is a bit creepy as I am fairly sure that Brother-of-the-Biggest-Spider-in-the-Universe will be procreating somewhere under the planks. I walk around rather gingerly as I am still suffering from a touch of paranoia about the fearsome furry fiends. I console myself with the thought that he and his clan might be tap dancing – their eight legs each working away on a new routine, ready to perform on my faucet(?) when I am next relaxing in foaming, five star luxury.